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THE LESS-THAN-MAGNIFICENT SEVEN

If you’ve never seen a Western before, Hollywood’s latest effort to revive the genre may divert and even entertain you. After all, Denzel Washington is good, as always, Chris Pratt has some funny lines, and all the superficial ingredients you’d expect are in place, from quick-draw action to swinging saloon doors. But you don’t have to know the 1960 movie with Yul Brynner and Steve McQueen or its source, Akira Kurosawa’s breathtaking The Seven Samurai, to know that something is missing.

The characters aren’t well-drawn. The politically correct presence of a heroic Mexican, a Native American, and an assertive woman add little to the proceedings. And the movie never effectively sells the story point that made the earlier films so compelling: why a bunch of outlaws and mercenaries would put their lives on the line for a town that finds itself in the grip of a bad, bad guy.

We’re told all of this: I just didn’t feel it. In fact, I didn’t feel anything for the characters. That’s the x factor that director Antoine Fuqua and credited writers Richard Wenk and Nic Pizzolatto have missed by a country mile. Washington’s character is supposed to be something of an enigma; instead, he’s a cipher.

The Magnificent Seven-2016

(Image Courtesy of Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer / Columbia Pictures)

Even good actors like Ethan Hawke, who has a head start with a flamboyant name (Goodnight Robicheaux) and wardrobe, still has to make do with an underwritten role. Peter Sarsgaard may be an offbeat choice to play the heartless villain, but that doesn’t mean he was the right one; he’s rather dull and predictable. The only one who brings color and brio to his part is Vincent D’Onofrio, as the indescribably outlandish character called Jack Horne.

As if to admit that they haven’t done their job terribly well, the filmmakers tack on a finale (no spoiler here) that shows the headstones of the key characters who haven’t survived. Out of nowhere comes a piece of narration (by the film’s female heroine, Haley Bennett) saying, “They were…magnificent.” That’s the cue for Elmer Bernstein’s rousing theme from the 1960 movie, which has more energy and excitement than anything we’ve seen in the previous two hours.

What a shame, and what a waste.

Leonard Maltin is one of the world’s most respected film critics and historians. He is best known for his widely-used reference work Leonard Maltin’s Movie Guide and its companion volume Leonard Maltin’s Classic Movie Guide, now in its third edition, as well as his thirty-year run on television’s Entertainment Tonight. He teaches at the USC School of Cinematic Arts and appears regularly on Reelz Channel and Turner Classic Movies. His books include The 151 Best Movies You’ve Never Seen, Of Mice and Magic: A History of American Animated Cartoons, The Great Movie Comedians, The Disney Films, The Art of the Cinematographer, Movie Comedy Teams, The Great American Broadcast, and Leonard Maltin’s Movie Encyclopedia. He served two terms as President of the Los Angeles Film Critics Association, is a voting member of the National Film Registry, and was appointed by the Librarian of Congress to sit on the Board of Directors of the National Film Preservation Foundation. He hosted and co-produced the popular Walt Disney Treasures DVD series and has appeared on innumerable television programs and documentaries. He has been the recipient of awards from the American Society of Cinematographers, the Telluride Film Festival, Anthology Film Archives, and San Diego’s Comic-Con International. Perhaps the pinnacle of his career was his appearance in a now-classic episode of South Park. (Or was it Carmela consulting his Movie Guide on an episode of The Sopranos?) He holds court at leonardmaltin.com. Follow him on Twitter and Facebook; you can also listen to him on his weekly podcast: Maltin on Movies. — [Artwork by Drew Friedman]

8 comments

  1. Good job, Leonard. I saw both Samurai Seven and the Magnificent Seven–and still see them regularly–many times and I was wandering where I was going on this one. I’ll see it just to kiss it goodbye. Thumbs up (for you).

  2. C.C. 95 says:

    Too bad. I like westerns.

  3. Jeffrey says:

    How old was Mr. Maltin when the 1960 film was released? Just curious.

  4. Peter says:

    The real shame is that Hollywood execs are going to look at big flops like this and The Lone Ranger and conclude that modern audiences just don’t want westerns. The reality is, they want good movies, compelling stories, relatable characters. The problem isn’t the genre, but the quality of the movie.

    In fact, I enjoyed the remake of True Grit much more than the original with John Wayne. (I know a lot of people will take offense at that, but note that I’m not making a grand pronouncement that it’s better, only that I enjoyed it more.)

  5. spencer says:

    Will check it out anyway, because it’s still a major release & I’m a fan of the original, but never expected much & typically, the pc nonsense has to be thrown in in this era

    What about it’s score, ha ha?

  6. spencer says:

    Did see “Sully” (***1/2)

  7. spencer says:

    & to Leonard, from all very early accounts, watch for “La La Land’ come *Oscar time

    Though *Scorsese’s “Silence” could still make the cut, if released in time?

  8. Pretty instructive… look forward to coming back

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